As an online chat buddy there is one thing above all I would like to get better at, and that is finding time to talk. A buddy who does not have time for you is not much of a buddy. I could definitely get better (and so could my conversation partner by the way).
It is not that we don’t want to talk. Otherwise we would not be doing this voluntarily. But precisely because this project is carried out on a voluntary basis it ends up at the bottom of my to-do list all too easily. It’s like I have to get everything else done before I can find some time to talk. And at first glance this is kind of a lousy attitude to the whole project. In general, conversation should never be the last thing you find time to cultivate. Conversation is quintessentially devotion to your fellow human being, and this should never be at the bottom of your to-do list. I mean, that’s just egoism at its worst. Isn’t it?
On the other hand I have noticed that in practice it does seem to have some benefits. I have gotten a lot better at getting all my other stuff done because I know that I have to in order to live up to my obligation to my conversation partner. If I don’t get my stuff done in time, I won’t have time to talk, and the thought of letting someone else down is far worse than the thought of letting yourself down. In this way, putting the Taldansk conversations at the bottom of my to-do list is a sure fire way of getting all the other stuff done as well. In this perspective, I’m not really giving myself priority ahead of other people. I am using the priority of the other to motivate myself, which is ok I guess. A genuine life-hack right there!
Just one of the things I get done more easily now that I have to make sure I have time to talk
I think our ability to find time to talk (or lack thereof) is correlated with how we perceive the relationship we are in. Is it professional or personal, being the voluntary type of deal that it is? Or is it somewhere in between? My conversation partner and I are definitely easy going enough to not make the conversations a chore, but for the same reason perhaps not quite good enough at finding time to talk.
Anyway. Feel free to employ my “life-hack” if you like, and do tell if you have any clever ways of finding time to talk yourselves.